The Price of Hiding

By Sandie Roberts

Fear 

Locked up for decades. 

Silenced in an invisible cage. 

Eaten alive by the rage that tore at my insides 

Because I didn’t have the words to describe 

The hell I was feeling inside 

The not this, or that 

It doesn’t fit me 

This body 

Please, will you still love me 

Hold me 

While I try to figure it out 

This puzzle I don’t even understand myself 

Fear 

It rips at me, shreds my soul to pieces 

What will happen if I don’t survive? 

Am I already dead inside 

Help me, please, I can’t breathe with all this hiding 

Fear 

It consumes me, burns, destroys 

But worse, to turn on my own self 

Abandoned 

That, I’ve learned 

Is the ultimate price 

I will not pay 

I will stand 

As who I am 

This is me  

I am free 

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Bio: In 2019, Sandie’s (they/them) life transformed as they became a full-time wheelchair user. Despite challenges, they embraced their new reality. Now, they advocate for confidence, champion mental health and promote disability inclusion. Engaging through writing, media and modelling, they spark conversations on empowerment, identity and intersectionality. Their goal is to inspire confidence, celebrate diversity and empower all to boldly claim their place in the world.

You can follow Sandie on Instagram: @shinecollectiveuk @the_sandie_roberts