Invisible Queerness
By 9TeenWolves
The Mirror Knows
The mirror knows his past
It’s a window through his eyes
The body keeps a score,
a memory,
of whom it once was, but no longer exists
He’s not mad at her
She had to exist for him to be here,
for him to be the man he is.
There are those who only know of her
but not of him,
He’s not ashamed
He just doesn’t have time to explain
The struggle is less of her vs him,
now it’s the struggle of being black before anything.
He’s a man now,
But he must remember he’s Black before anything.
Before man.
Does your community accept you?
Respect you?
Allow you?
Maybe.
But lower your voice,
it’s deeper now,
it carries now,
people listen to you now,
but at what cost?
You pass now,
However you are suddenly folded into a history
a history that is both yours
and not.
So he carries it anyway.
This body.
This history.
His, even when it’s 'not'.
And maybe that’s okay.
Hold those contradictions.
You can be both/and
Instead of either/or.
Exist in the space between.
Either way it’s fine.
The mirror still knows.
It reflects all version of
her,
him,
them.
Black.
the herstory.
the history.
the now.
Everything all at once.
The Cost of Passing
They always see a Black man first.
Everything else gets erased
even though it's still very much there.
When you pass,
your queerness becomes invisible.
People only see the color of my skin.
Black first.
Man next.
Nothing else.
There's a constant hyper-vigilance now.
Forever aware of how I'm being read
in public,
in queer spaces,
in social situations.
Not because I want to be,
but because I have to be.
Black men don't get the benefit of ambiguity.
You're not allowed to just be
you're read,
assessed,
braced against.
Losing those connections to the lesbian/sapphic community
is so hard.
I never stopped being deeply sapphic-coded,
but it's hard to feel like I'm allowed to name that
or take up space in those rooms anymore.
A lot of queer spaces in the PNW are very white
and very centered on "lesbian/dyke/sapphic" language.
Dating and making friends is harder now.
Black men are historically and societally framed
as aggressive
or threatening.
Even people who aren't consciously racist
still carry that conditioning.
I'm already constantly doing mental gymnastics
to make myself smaller,
softer,
safer,
even though I know
I didn't create these systems.
But I'm still here.
Still sapphic.
Still queer.
Still trans.
Still taking up space
even when you can't see me.
9TeenWolves (he/him) is a Black queer sapphic trans man and digital artist based in Portland, Oregon. His work explores themes of visibility, erasure, bodily autonomy, and queer resistance through gothic aesthetics and bold line work. He creates art and poetry that refuses to fit into neat categories, reflecting his own experience navigating multiple marginalized identities. Follow him on Instagram: @9TeenWolves and Tiktok: @9TeenWolves
'The Cost of Passing' was first published in Anarkiss Zine's March 2026 issue.
