The Quiet Becoming: A Bisexual Woman of Colour in Her Own Light

By Honeylust Petites

For many years, she moved quietly through the world — a bisexual woman of colour navigating layers of silence, misunderstanding, and misrepresentation. Her identity was something she had to tuck away, shaped by her mother’s religion, family remarks, and a society that rarely portrayed bisexuality with truth or respect. When bisexual characters did appear in the media, they were often sexualised, fickle, or used as punchlines. Even public figures like Christopher Biggins, during the 2016 UK series of Celebrity Big Brother, echoed damaging tropes, calling bisexuals 'the worst type', blaming them for the AIDS crisis, and claiming they simply refused to admit they were gay. Renée Graziano, also in the house that year, made similarly dismissive remarks. For a young woman still trying to understand herself, those words landed deeply.  

She came out to her friends, her nanna, and her dad at seventeen and now, at thirty-one, she remains proud, still bisexual, and still unwavering. Yet even after that first brave step, she continued to face prejudice not only from straight circles but within the gay community too. Some women told her they wouldn’t date bisexuals, fearing they’d eventually 'run back to men'. Others dismissed her because she didn’t fit the aesthetic they expected, saying she 'looked straight', as though queerness needed to be performed or proven. At times, it felt easier to date men than to justify herself again and again to those who should have understood.  

Adding another layer, she identifies as demisexual, someone who forms sexual attraction only after a strong emotional connection. This aspect of her identity directly contradicts the harmful stereotype that bisexual people 'sleep with anyone'. Her experiences prove that intimacy, consent, and genuine connection are at the core of her relationships, no matter the gender of her partner.  

Still, her truth always found its way forward. Back in college, she briefly dated a female friend, went on dates, and explored her sexuality through a handful of intimate experiences. But it wasn’t until this year that she had her first serious relationship with a woman. Though it ended painfully, it also affirmed something profound: that her bisexuality and her demisexuality were not an in-between or confusion. They were real, steady, and deserving of love. The heartbreak didn’t push her back into hiding; instead, it solidified her confidence that she would love again, freely and without apology, when the time is right.  

Honeylust Petites, a Hull-based theatre-trained professional, former actress in her youth turned neo-burlesque and cabaret performer, stage kitten, singer, workshop facilitator, and training aerialist, now uses her artistry to speak for those still afraid to. Her work is fuelled by the belief that performance can be liberation — that art can carve out the space society refuses to offer. Through her shows and workshops, she creates light for voices often hidden, for those told to quiet themselves or choose sides.  

Her story is one of quiet defiance — proof that strength doesn’t always roar. It evolves in whispers, in healing, in the simple act of showing up again and again as her whole self. For her, the stage is more than performance; it is reclamation — a place where she no longer shuffles to fit the world’s moulds, but invites the world to meet her as she truly is: powerful, soft, and entirely seen. 

Photographer: Meg Morris

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Bio: Honeylust Petites is a theatre-trained neo-burlesque and cabaret performer of colour, singer, workshop facilitator, and stage kitten based in Hull. She identifies as bisexual and demisexual. Her dance home is The Troublemakers Hull, run by Sir Loin, and she is also training in floorwork and aerial flow at The Late Night Circus — another home away from home for her. Follow Honeylust on Instagram: @honeylust_petites_troublemaker and Facebook: Honeylust Petites 

Cover photo by Richard Shepherd