Having a Breakthrough in Real Time: An Interview With Pressure K

By Piper and JJ Loveday 

Anyone who has spoken to me in the last few months has heard me rave about King of Drag, the first drag king competition reality series hosted by the iconic Murray Hill for the American LGBTQIA+ streaming service, Revry. 

King of Drag is simply the best thing I have watched on TV in a long time. It shows what reality TV can be like – no manufactured drama, no heavy-handed production influences – focused on talent, community, connection, support and the joy of the artform that is drag.  

One of the standout stars is Pressure K (he/him), the charismatic king from Atlanta with a big story and an even bigger heart. Pressure embodies the magic of drag as a tool for resistance, survival and healing. In a challenge where contestants had to embody their deepest fears, Pressure’s raw moment on stage allowed viewers to watch a psychological breakthrough happen in real time, with a reminder that ‘what happened to us is not our fault, but it is our responsibility to heal.’ 

Pressure K is exactly who you would hope him to be – magnetic, insightful, authentic and extremely funny. Listening back to our conversation brought tears to my eyes on multiple occasions, at others we were laughing so hard our words were barely audible. It was an enormous privilege to talk so openly about childhood abuse, healthcare discrimination, the power of therapy, chosen family and the love of a good woman. 

Get behind your kings, people, and if you haven’t watched King of Drag yet, what on earth are you waiting for? 

JJ 

P: So, where did Pressure K come from? 

I feel like Pressure K has always been with me. Because I’d seen drag kings growing up, but we didn't call it drag kings, just lip syncing, putting on a show. So one day I did see Perka Sexx performing and was like, ohhh yeah, that's it! 

At that time, I was an emcee at the club so my ego was growing. And my wife was like, hey, you need to put that ego somewhere and get it under control [laughs]. That conversation and seeing Perka Sexx within the same time frame really set it off for me. So, I do feel like Pressure came from my ego. 

I like to keep my ‘K’ with me, my real name is Keena, and I wanted something powerful. Like, I hit the stage, I got the power, I just want to be a big bag of boom, you know? I want to be the pressure... 

P: You talked a lot about your wife on the show and it made me really emotional every time, she's obviously incredibly supportive of you. Can you talk a bit more about your wife and her support of Pressure K? 

Me and my wife, we are Pressure K.  

We've been together 15 years, married for 10. When I met Whitley, I was 23, she was 21. And I thought life was kind of over but was still trying to go with it, that's when I didn't know I had PCOS (Polycystic Ovary Syndrome)*. 

So one of the side effects we can talk about is menstrual flow. At the time I would be on for eight months. I’d go through two and a half packs of overnight pads in a day. I was having issues with my mom. I was homeless at that point too. I was asking people, can you just buy me pads? I was just trying to survive.  

I met my wife at a call center, and she liked me. But I'm like, I don't have a cell phone, I have one shirt, I think I'm dying... And she was like, you're not dying, you're my true love, and we're gonna work this out. You know, to really be swept up off my feet, to be treated like a princess, like a lady... She was the first to hold me. 

With the PCOS, they used to tell me, it's cause you're gay, you gotta give yourself to Christ and stop the bleeding. Then, to find out it’s hormones... My wife didn't take no for an answer and she's really smart, her love really started the healing. It’s like I'm the princess in the castle but instead of Rapunzel, I had facial hair and my princess queen saved me through my beard. 

JJ: What was it like when you finally got a diagnosis of PCOS? 

Oh, definitely life changing. I started therapy to work on my facial hair because I started to get comfortable and let my facial hair grow. And it was like, are you trans? No, I've been growing my beard since I was 13. When I went to the doctor, he said, PCOS! It was the hair that made them take me serious: not the bleeding, but the facial hair. 

I was diagnosed as a diabetic. So to get on the medication, that brought my sugar down, that made my bleeding regular. That was life changing. Life changing. I can go outside without feeling like pieces of my body are coming off. It went from eight months to five days. The pain slowed down. I was able to get off birth control. It really gave me my life back. 

P: On King of Drag, one theme that kept coming up was healing from trauma. Can you take us through your healing journey? 

It really started when I got my good insurance. I had never heard the word ‘anxiety’ until I met my wife, you know. Even with my mom, even growing up, I was depressed but she would call me lazy. I'm going through things that I don't understand and they're labeling me.  

I wasn't doing the ‘girly’ things. I would take a tennis ball and put it in my drawers and be like, I look like Daddy. But it was, No! Sit down! This is what girls do! This is what girls look like! This is a girls color! So I felt like I was wrong at a small age. 

They felt like they needed to teach me how to be a woman. So I would do something queer and they’d have to correct it. So to me it turned into a punishment. I had to wear the skirts and go to church... I wanted my family to like me, if that makes sense, so every day I was like, don’t get in trouble, don’t get in trouble. For years, I just thought it was normal.  

And then we got insurance and I went to therapy. I explained to her one story, that my mother made me eat popcorn for dinner because she felt I was overweight. And that was the first time somebody said, you're being abused, would you feed your baby popcorn as a meal? I'm like, I wouldn't, I wouldn't. 

To learn that I've been abused was a process. To even speak up about it felt like I was disrespecting my mother. It’s the rule of ‘what happens in this house, stays in this house’. So I felt like I was wrong just by explaining what happened. My therapist had to tell me, this happened to you, that's why it's your story to tell.  

When the therapy started, I met myself for the first time. I actually got to make a decision about my facial hair, my body. My first breakthrough was when my therapist said, you still live with your mom? I said, no. She was like, well, you’re living in your own house but you’re still living under your mother’s rules. That took me back so much. Like bills are stupid. Being an adult is hard. They won't support me, wouldn't come to my wedding. But I'm still living under her rules? Why am I not living my life as myself?  

To learn I had to work on my own freedom, it's like I got out of jail. I am free to do what I want. I can have my facial hair. I don't have to wear my bra, shave my legs. I found out who I was through healing, I'm no longer cosplaying. 

JJ: Were there any particular mental health practices that you worked on with your therapist?  

I'm definitely learning tools in therapy, ones to pick up and put down. I am very visual, I see things, so if I’m in a negative space, it will turn negative. So I've learned to pause, to say hey, this don't feel right. Or to remind myself of joy. Sometimes just standing outside and getting some air, to take a step back and ask, is this really true? What’s going on? I learned to check in on my feelings too, because I wasn't allowed to cry, so I'm still practicing to let my emotions out. 

And affirmations like, I am somebody, I am meant to be, I am loved. The reminder to hear it, to see it. Because depression will sneak up on me, I call it the ‘don’t-feel-like-its'. That’s my alert. Like, wait a minute, why don't I feel like doing things I want to do? I learned to label it, to be more aware of what's going on, and to remind myself of my joy. 

JJ: Outside of drag, what brings you joy? 

Hanging with my in-laws, my wife's family is totally amazing. Her mother gives me ‘daughter time’, I really get to be a girl, go get coffee, do a little shopping. They're a mixed couple. Her mom is Caucasian, but the way she stands up for me! She's a nurse and takes care of me, how I wish my mom had. Being in the south of America is always racist but if I kept my racist family energy, I never would have been able to embrace my wife’s family. My dad wouldn’t hold my hand in public but my wife’s dad took me to his place of business, like, this is my daughter-in-law! He kisses me on my forehead, wants to make me ribs. Her sister puts her babies in my hand. I’m Auntie Keena. I’m a family member. I’ve got somewhere to go on holidays. That's my thing, having real family time and not having to change who I am to enter their house. 

JJ: Can I ask where you’re at in your relationship with your mom now? 

We're no longer associated, but she still sends gaslighting emails. Whitley, my prince in shining armor, does review the email first. A couple of years ago, I wanted to see... Am I mad? Am I holding a grudge? Am I free from my abuser? So I did meet up with her and I didn't feel angry, I didn't feel like I wanted to hurt her. I just feel like I’d made it out. 

What really made me walk away was, she came to therapy. I had a whole plan, told her everything she did that made me want to kill myself. I said, if I would have killed myself, would you take anything back, to bring me back to life? And she said no, that she would leave me dead. JJ, as a mom, Piper, as a child... how do you come back from that? I’m dead. 

It was some closure, because I’d been hoping and wishing for change. So, to know the truth it was definitely like, I don't have to meet these requirements, I don’t have to please this person.  

Now it's time to live my life for myself. 

P: In episode three, you did the challenge about facing deepest fears. Are you able to talk a bit about the symbolism of your performance, what that meant for you?  

Thank y'all so much. Because that's the challenge we struggled with the most. Being an entertainer, I’ve experienced evil within the entertainment scene: working with people that beat on their partners, the domestic violence, stealing money. So I go, okay, I’m going to go with my club experience. I do feel like evil is a dark spirit and I don’t want to take on the energy that's been around me. So, I’m thinking it’s all about the club stuff and I go to the competition and the more I talk, the more I look at it I’m like, okay, so this is about my momma. That’s why I was so emotional, because I’m having a breakthrough in real time.  

My therapist reminds me that I was abused for over 20 years. I've only been free for ten years, so I'm still a baby, I'm still new, I'm still working on this. So I was giving myself grace. Like okay, it's time to see what healing looks like when being embarrassed, being emotional. Because I came in not thinking that was gonna happen that day, that was not the plan. But I wanted to be honest. 

JJ: It’s one of the purest TV moments I've seen. And a lot of the audience watching King of Drag are going to be queer and a lot of queer people are going to have some trauma of their own. It's a real gift to see someone really going there, being brave and vulnerable – it's very connecting. I don’t think I have a question here, I think I’m just saying thank you... 

Thank you so much, because that's a tool I can use for healing too, to remind myself of this moment. I was so embarrassed to be emotional, every week too. I thought, since I wasn't the beautiful lady, then I'm gonna be the big bad lesbian. I can’t be emotional, can’t be soft, I can’t show my feelings are hurt. Thank you so much, you being a mom really makes me feel like I'm being hugged right now. 

P: Coming to the end, is there anything else you’d like to add, any final words from Pressure K? 

I want to say thank you. This conversation, and the DMs, it’s giving me confirmation of the healing, because I can’t say I ever had a season where I wasn’t bullied. So to get joy from the people, to show my most so-called embarrassing moments, to say that I missed my abuser – that was a big two years in therapy to get that out of my mouth – to be able to say that and y’all applauded me and saying thank you... So to the world, thank you, thank you, thank you. 

I hope I am the example of the difference healing can make, because I do feel that's the secret to life, I really do. I could take $10,000 and still not make your depression go away, so to have that connection with healing is really priceless. 

I'm glad I didn't kill myself and I want everybody to feel that same way. I would never have met y'all, never been on TV, had my dogs, my wife... If I gave up in high school, at that moment, like I wanted to, I would have had none of this. It feels like I made it to freedom, made it to the land and I found my people – we're different colors, we eat different, we sound different, but we made it to the freedom land all together. I really found my puzzle that I fit in. 

This interview has been edited for length and clarity. 

*Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) is a hormonal disorder affecting people with ovaries, characterised by irregular or absent menstrual cycles, excess androgen (male hormone) levels, and multiple small cysts on the ovaries. It can cause acne, weight gain, and excess hair growth, and is also linked to fertility issues and metabolic health risks.